What made you stop being an addict?

I remember sitting on the bed and smiling and that was when it hit me that I have successfully masturbated.

I got tired of always breaking the promises I made to myself.

I did it while watching my sister. I did it while touching my sister 😭 I did it while watching my landlord's daughter.

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I didn't even start counting the days because I didn't really believe I would get this far.

So all I had to do was to find a way to trick my dirty brain to think that p*rn isn't nice.

The harder I tried, the worse it became. I could get angry with myself and go about 3 days without it but when I relapse, I can do 3 in a day. And the subsequent days; it's just me getting drowned in the rabbit hole.

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It took me days to finish watching them. Finally I decided to go to the washroom to do The Last Fap.

Now how do you quit your addiction?

I went there early in the morning trying to watch a movie and I found the CD inside the video player so I decided to watch what was on it and that was the beginning of the life I never wanted.

Is using an ambulance really free in countries with universal healthcare, or are there hidden costs like deductibles that people should know about?

No self esteem. No confidence. No ambition. Just dreams.

Is masturbation and p*rn bad?

And these were just the act and not the mental and social problems associated with addiction.

Can ringing in the ears be a sign of spiritual awakening?

I just finished watching the best of the best p*rn videos on the planet. Now there's nothing else to look for on p*rn sites again.

But how was I going to do it when everything I knew wasn't working? I didn't know

Oh, and everyday I woke up tired 😫 I never slept early too. My mental health was nothing to write home about.

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But for me, I would say RUN away from it

I saw every girl or woman as a sex object including kid girls. There was no way I would look at a woman and not think of f*cking her.

Now I don't wait to be talked to before I respond. I talk when I think I'm supposed to.

Should parents force their kids to go to school when they are sick?

I knew about masturbation but I didn't actually think of doing it but one day, on my bed when I was preparing to go to school I was watching pornography and something just came in mind; why don't you rob your dick with your hand?

I started rubbing it and I liked how I was feeling so I kept on doing it faster and EUREKA, sperms came out of my dick.

This was February 2019.

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I don't know if all addictions are like this 🤔

Do I wake up everyday with lots of energy? No but that's because I have a health problem, which is a story for another day.

Now I have the mental fortitude to face life's every day battles.

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There were times I could go 3 months without watching p*rn or masturbating but somehow I always came back to it.

All I knew was that, I couldn't masturbate without p*rn. I was first getting the urge to watch p*rn, while watching, I would now feel like masturbating.

I made sure I downloaded every video that was nice for me. This took almost the whole day.

When did women stop wearing bonnets in North America?

Now I know I have all the nice videos on my phone, the rest I don't have, are not nice. So I had to start watching them one after the other. Some of them were even 2 hours long but I made sure I watched every little bit of it.

So I thought had unlocked a new potential in life. I was doing it even if I don't feel the urge. I forced the urge to come by watching pornography.

RUN 🏃‍♂️ for your dear life

Why do so many men on the internet try to compete with women, or try to "humble" and bash them? There's so many videos across my tiktok and YouTube of men claiming how they're wanting to get back at women and put them in thier place.

I so badly wanted to f*uk a girl, yet I was so shy of girls. I never wanted to meet anyone. I always wanted to hide behind the phone and text.

A couple of months later I started hating it and regretting after every session. Yet, I couldn't stop.

I secretly kept on watching and watching until I got 19. At this time, I had started feeling the urge to ejaculate as I was watching the pornography.

Have I stopped seeing girls as sex objects? Not entirely, I still want to f*ck some of them.

Read that again ☝️

I always wished they would sit inappropriately or the wind would blow up their dress so I can see things.

There were times I was counting the days when I'm clean. But now I don't, because I got tired of counting and relapsing and starting all over again.

I went on my favourite site and started scrolling through my favourite categories; petite girls, sleeping girls, Japanese girls, Japanese mom, Japanese wife, massage, forced, in the bus, gangb*ng, Muslim girls, ebony, student and teacher, in the classroom, curvy, African, etc

And I DID IT EVERYDAY

I knew something had to be done about my wasting existence because if nothing changes, then nothing changes.

Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes.

And I can also talk to them now.

I did it in my administrator's office.

Around age 9 I discovered pornography through my uncle, he had left the CD in the video player in the night after enjoying himself.

I remember I once did it in my classroom at dawn. I did it in the hospital's washrooms. I did it in the lab where I work; both daytime and midnight.

Just keep trying

Am I totally free? I don't know 😕

It didn't feel great after ejaculating but hey, who cares about feelings?

I did it in my room. I did it in my washroom. I did it in school in the washrooms.

I know some people masturbate and they don't have the problems I went through.

Was quitting worth the effort? At least for my mental health, it's a billion times worth it.

So I'm still hanging on this lie.